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You Docs: Dissolve earwax safely to hear better

Listen up! We have a story to tell, and it’s called "The Tale of Marshal Earwax: When Dirt Came to Town."

In the Canal Zone that runs from your eardrum to your outer ear live Marshal Earwax and his lovely partner Ms. Cilia von Hair-follicle. Together they battle incoming scoundrels like Dirt and his gang of bacteria. Ms. Cilia blocks the troublemakers’ way with her fine hair fibers, and Earwax ushers them back outside.

At least, that’s what happens when everything’s running smoothly in the Canal. But if Earwax puts on a bit of weight or gets pushed deeper into your ear’s end zone by, say, overzealous fingertips or the dreaded Cotton Swabs, nothing gets in or out, including sound.

So if you’re troubled by stuffy ears, muffled sounds or earaches, you may need to help the marshal clean up the neighborhood. Place a container with a small amount of mineral oil in it into a bowl or pan of warm water. Do not heat the oil in a microwave. Lying on your side with your ear facing the ceiling, drip the oil into your ear using an eyedropper. Then read a book or watch the tube. The wax will dissolve in less than an hour. Tip your head to let the wax drain into a towel. You can also get an earwax removal kit for less than $10 at the corner pharmacy. If these attempts don’t work, talk to your doc. You don’t want to poke around in there and risk damaging your eardrum.